How to develop the etiquette of a gentleman's heart

The word gentleman appears more than a hundred times in the Analects, but Confucius himself only kept describing a gentleman from different aspects without giving a specific standard explanation of a gentleman, which is in line with Confucius' character of making learning.

For example:

Zi said, "A gentleman is not a weapon.

Zi Gong asked about the gentleman, and Zi said: first, he will speak his words, and then he will follow them.

The son said: the gentleman is circumspect but not comparing, the small man is comparing but not circumspect

The gentleman is learned in literature, and the appointment is based on the rites.

The gentleman is open and honest, the villain is long and close

The gentleman is a man of beauty, but not a man of evil

Summarizing Confucius's description of a gentleman, it can be assumed that, in the view of Confucianism, a gentleman is a person with an ideal standard of personality.

The reason I say that a gentleman is an "ideal" person is that Confucius himself said that he had not yet reached the standard of a gentleman. Confucius said, "There are three things in the way of a gentleman, and I am incapable of them: a man of benevolence does not worry, a man of knowledge does not confuse, and a man of courage does not fear." (Analects - Xianqian) This is perhaps one of the highest standards of the so-called gentleman in Confucius' mind!

Becoming a gentleman is not very easy. To become a gentleman, one should at least do what Confucius asked. Read the Analects of Confucius first, because one of the purposes of the Analects is to teach his students how to be a gentleman.