What it's like to live in a traditional family

What it's like to live in a traditional family is a feeling of never-ending stubbornness, prejudice, and the humility of being on your knees for a penny.

Money in the eyes

For as long as I can remember, I've known that my family has a patriarchal outlook. I was in the second grade when my brother was born, before that, my memory, I remember my grandmother some words, said because my sister and I are not a boy, so do not get the favor of grandparents. But as far as I can remember, my grandparents were quite kind to us and didn't show any patriarchal thinking. On the contrary, it was her, with a small man's heart, she always imposed her thoughts on others, it was she and my grandfather who were patriarchal, thinking that the whole world was the same as her.

Because my grandfather was the owner of our farm, a small official and relatively well-off, she wanted us to play nice to win favor and get some pocket money. Maybe she was so used to being poor and afraid of being poor that she would do anything for money, and all she could think of to get money was to curry favor with others.

Patriarchy

In my hometown, it is a place where patriarchy is more serious. In the eyes of those parents, it is as if if if anyone's daughter-in-law gives birth to a boy, she will have a status in her in-laws' family and can raise her eyebrows.

My family is a real example, I feel sorry for my mother married into such a family, but, if my mother did not marry my father, there would not have been I came to this world.

My grandparents are old people with particularly serious patriarchal attitudes, and after my mom gave birth to my sister and me, she was pregnant with a girl and chose to have an abortion. I've heard more than one or two abortions in their chat, and if you include the ones that were accidentally aborted, there are even more. I can see how much damage this can do to a woman's body.

However, they just have to have a boy, not to mention my mother as a child-bearing machine, not to give birth to a boy vowed to stop, in order to the so-called inheritance of such a concept of nothingness.

My mom's body left a hidden problem when she gave birth to a child, and she didn't go to the hospital regularly for medical checkups in the later stages, so she left me early in my teenage years.

Marrying a daughter-in-law is adding a nanny

Her failure to go to the hospital for physical checkups was also influenced by her environment. Since she married my father, my mother hardly ever went out of town, and the only time she did was to go to the hospital in the provincial capital to take care of me when I was hospitalized for my elementary school illness.

Every time my parent-teacher conference is my dad to open, I every time of every time I want my mom to open, but my mom has to be in the housework, to cook for grandparents to eat, she has to take care of them, even if they are physically tough, can cook by themselves, or my dad to cook. That's absolutely not okay, in their eyes, the daughter-in-law is the one who cooks and washes the clothes, she must do every meal, it's impossible to have your own business, even if you go to work, you must rush back home to cook for them. Parent-teacher conferences, just let your dad do it. I feel that my mom is synonymous with stoicism, or she has thought about divorce, but her heart aches for us kids, so she chooses to ignore the odd one out.

Boys are Emperors

My brother's birth was treated like an emperor by my grandmother. Thanks to my grandmother is still female, patriarchal concepts have been deep into the bone marrow. I'm a girl, it's only right to do the housework, not to do it is unfilial. My brother, on the other hand, if he sweeps the floor one day on a whim, he will be praised as if he were the emperor on a private visit. My grandma would say, "Aigoo, my ancestor, that's great." She would also say, "You sisters, mix a little better to help your brother to find a job, to help your brother.

Everyone is an independent individual and is not born to take care of anyone. But my grandmother left my brother from childhood to instill this thought, sister to help the younger brother is natural and rightful. And did not go to tell him to face the society on his own and learn to grow up on his own.

From the legal point of view, he has been a full civil liability, full 16 years old, to their own labor income as the main source of livelihood. He should be responsible for all his own behavior.

He finished secondary school, he did not want to study, all day long said I want to earn money, I want to have money. He went to a company internship, not long after the resignation. The first time I saw this, I was able to get the job done, and I was able to get the job done, and I was able to get the job done. I had dinner with him the other day, and he was so young that his thoughts were the same as my father's. He said, "This is a better job, it's a relative's introduction, and the relative will help. Which job is not hard, which job is not their own simmer out, do not want to study, do not want to grow up, just want others to do a good job to you. Plus it is a waiter's job, how can it be easy? It is really a waste of exquisite five senses, no accumulation of wisdom, empty perfect five senses, simply lost the way out of sanity. I hope he will soon recognize the rules of the world, escape from my grandparents father's "masturbation" of him, live from myself, the pursuit of their own, the ability to shape their own.

The body has to be locked at home

Although my grandfather is old, he still has a short temper and is still so unreasonable. He can't even go to a parent-teacher conference for his daughter, let alone go out of town.

As long as my mom and dad went to the provincial capital in the morning, before 3pm, my grandpa was wandering around the living room of the house, God, what are you doing there? (Alarm clocks are hanging on the wall, clearly open eyes say nonsense) while chanting while shouting my grandmother to call them, only to get back, in the car news, his mouth only a little bit to stop.

Did you think it was over? Not at all, he just changed the location, before he was wandering inside the living room, now he was running out to the road and looking around, looking all the way forward, all the way to the intersection, standing there like a fool.

In fact, even if my parents are home at the moment, there is nothing important to deal with, or even a little boring. But, he just wants to lock your body at home, only then, his heart is solid. He doesn't go out to meet his friends and talk to other old people, and he asks you to do the same as him, to stay at home and not go out. If I go out to meet my friends and have tea with my classmates, it doesn't take long for my cell phone to ring, and needless to say, it must be my grandfather or my grandmother calling, "Which friend are you having tea with? There are so many words, can't you finish them all? It's time to go home."

Their world is only to tell you to stay at home, even if you lie in bed at home to sleep, he is also at ease.

I have now graduated from college, out of work to earn a living, my father still often call me to say: when to go home? He didn't know that his daughter had grown up, longing for the distance, longing for freedom, he hoped that his daughter in the province to study in the university, work in the province, the future marriage is also to find a hometown people married.

I've always had a regret that I didn't go to another city to go to college, and I've worked hard to study and improve my own hard conditions to make up for this regret someday. However, my family simply can not understand my desire to run so far why, there are so many bad people outside, now this is not very good, close to home, you can often go home. They never realized that I already had my own independent thoughts, and they wanted to impose their will on me for the rest of my life. But that is not going to happen.

Limited Thinking, Unable to Communicate

My grandmother was falling into money, she would be proud to climb up to a rich man rather than become rich herself. She often told me stories about how her neighbor, whoever she was, had married her daughter to a rich man in Hong Kong, and how the other party had built a building for the woman's parents in her hometown, and how it was all so glamorous. Every time she ignores the fact that the so-called rich man already has a wife at home, his kids are already in college, and also that the rich man is almost the same age as his father-in-law.

My grandmother told me that as long as there is money, everything else is not a problem, and it doesn't matter if you are the same age as my father. I feel that this is married to money, not to feelings. My grandmother may be young married to my grandfather, poor, there has always been an idea in the heart to marry to money, so has always instilled this idea in me, wanting me to help her fulfill this terrible desire.

Her thoughts are to such a point that I simply may talk to her about my thoughts. Anyway, her eyes only have money money money, the way she thinks of getting money is to beg, to climb the rich, not to become rich herself.

The rest of your life is going to be good

At one point I tried to reason with them, to articulate my ideas, and realized that all I was doing was nothing. I was able to find out the reason for their thinking, and I realized that these are the traces of the past, that they don't have the money to go to school or they don't want to go to school themselves, and that the only thing that could make them hold on to their hope was the money in those days of poverty. Even if the days are better now, that kind of thrifty habit is still with them all their lives, deep-rooted and unchangeable.

Because I am their granddaughter, daughter, so they still love me, do not treat me as an outsider. But when I get married in the future, I am determined not to find such in-laws. A person has no way to choose her birth, but she can choose how to spend the rest of her life, and I hope that my future self can always live according to my own wishes.