Seek cross talk

The lines of traditional cross talk "vinegar lamp"

Jiahao! It's been a long time since we met!

B: Yes.

Are you still there? Where do you live?

B hasn't moved, but he still lives there.

Where does A live?

I don't know. I still live in XXX.

Your pigsty?

B expensive pigsty?

A means your family, not asking. ...

Did the person at the second address ask you about the pigsty? Address your precious family.

A lie, pearls and treasures are the same!

You are ridiculous.

Please forgive me for doing this. I'm a little nervous.

What's the matter with you?

I am the daughter-in-law of Liu Bei-

B what do you say?

A will do (Mi's). Fortunately, there are too many children at home.

How many people are there in your family?

A: I can't say anything at home.

B Then what is your family talking about?

One about being beaten.

B Do you have foreign socks there?

Your family is a vest.

Do people B say "fight"?

There are many people in A, so we have to say "fight".

B How many people are there in your family?

One nine "hits" and one hundred and eight mouths.

You are talking nonsense. There are many people there.

If you don't believe me, I'll find out.

B You do the math, and I'll remember it for you.

The first "hit", my mother?

B yes.

A So you have one too?

Who doesn't have a mother

A: Has anyone taken the bait here?

B Yes, please count down.

My mother, my family-

B, that's not true!

My biological mother, my father's daughter-in-law, my daughter's mother-in-law, my children's grandmother, my mother-in-law's parents-in-law, my uncle's sister, my uncle's sister, my brother's godmother, my nephew's grandmother. Isn't this a "fight"

B, your mother is "fighting" alone! This second "hit" can be counted again.

Where is my daughter-in-law?

B yes.

Answer: My wife, my wife, my humble Jing, those scum, our wife, my sister-in-law's sister, my brother's fool, my mother's daughter-in-law, my mother's daughter-in-law. Isn't that two fights?

B You are really good at calculating. What about this third "fight"?

A: My father.

B how many?

Here's one.

B Why not call it a "fight"?

A means "fight". If you figure it out, you have to fight. Seriously, there are only four people in my family.

Who's B?

A: Me, my mother, our children, my daughter-in-law, your ... eldest sister-in-law.

Do you mind not breathing here? Your family has a small population.

A Small population, but many things.

B what?

No one in our family is reasonable. Take my mother for example. The older you get, the more confused you get. Let me support her!

B how fresh it is! If you are not allowed to support it, who can support it?

A: Even if I support you, you can have dinner here. Just eat something occasionally. Do you have anything to eat every day? How fresh you say.

B it's nothing new. Who also has two meals a day.

I want to fight for it, too. My daughter-in-law follows suit, and all ages don't eat me.

B who will you eat if you don't eat?

A The most exasperating thing is that our children are hungry when they open their eyes. They either want food or money. When they opened their eyes, they said, "Dad gave me a lot of money. I'm hungry." "You are hungry again. Didn't you eat on the first May Festival? "

B I've been eating since May Day. Where can I stand it?

A: Like my family, one meal is enough for the New Year.

B: Good! I haven't even heard of it.

A: the child is still in trouble. "You give a big penny." "Don't you know that you have no money these two days?"

B, just give him a big penny.

What does the eldest son need?

A child.

You are still young. You are not shorter than me standing here.

B me?

"Go! Go to the hospital to play. " The children went to play in the yard, and the neighborhood was having breakfast in the yard. I was very angry. You can eat when you eat, and play a game when you are free. The widow old lady in the East Room took her daughter-in-law to eat a pack of jiaozi or an extra pack of jiaozi.

B what do you see?

Jia is eating Zhajiang Noodles in his room. The one in the north room is also thicker than him-stew and pancakes. Our family is unambiguous.

B ball, rice.

A just stood there.

B No wonder you get angry when people eat well.

An adult can't afford to be surprised, and a child can't afford to be hungry. Take our child "salt soup" as an example.

B: Why is your child called salt soup?

Where A flows, it is salty.

B Don't ask, this kid is very popular.

A ran to the east room to look at his mouth. As soon as they cut the stuffing, our child stood there. How to roll the skin, how to wrap it, how to cook it and how to eat it. We are so greedy that our children just stand there and swallow like buns.

B this is getting better and better.

Our children are sweet-tongued, and the old lady in charge of the East Room is called Grandma. "Grandma, what's in your pot?" You will know that our children are more enlightened. Don't even know Bao jiaozi. Our children are here to ask. If you want to be an understanding old lady, what difference does it make if you have served 3500 yuan?

B, it's 3500. How much are two girls?

A Even if you take dozens, we can't have too few.

B why?

A Not only does she not give it, but she also makes you angry. "What? Bao jiaozi, very delicious. Go and play! Be careful to burn it. " How annoying you say that. Our children are afraid of scalding. Take it out of the pot and put it in your mouth. Are you afraid of burning?

Wow!

We must hold our breath and take care of our children. I once slapped my child: "Go home! You've been watching it for a long time, and she won't give it to you! What if I haven't eaten? " The child spoke to me and showed his face: "I haven't eaten."

B, did you show your face?

A "That's nothing new, isn't it just Bao jiaozi? The outside is leather and the inside is stuffing. That thing is inedible. Eating too much will cause diarrhea. "

What are you talking about?

I was angry with her. Anyway, if I don't eat her, she won't stop eating The old lady's words made me very angry: "girl, let's eat this tonight." I'm angry these two days, just let it out. " He will have diarrhea, but he must be able to do it. "I was so angry that I didn't speak for a long time. In a rage, he picked up our child: "Didn't you eat? "? Let's go Come with me to the north room to see stew and pancakes. "

B Look, change your mouth!

My daughter-in-law is gossiping in the room. "Come on in! Don't mix with the outside. You see, there is nothing wrong with other people's rooms, and neither does ours (that is, "I don't know"). The word "know" is omitted in spoken English. ) What's the matter? It's fine in our room, the scorpion behind the mountain-hungry (stinging); Fried onion-thin; Foreign cars are on the road-nothing. " I said, "Why are you still booing when you are hungry?" My daughter-in-law said, "if you marry Han, you will dress and eat;" Why should I marry you without dressing or eating? " I said, "That's ridiculous! If you marry a wife, you have to starve; If you can't go hungry, how can you be a husband and wife? "

Second, you are poor.

My mother's place is wrong, too. She added fuel to the fire and gossiped: "Look, look, I'm not hungry without a son, but I'm hungry with a son!" I said, "Mom, this place is your fault. Don't start slapping your son! What do you eat when you are hungry? Don't just ... "

B Isn't it late to cook today?

A "Didn't you eat this week?"

B ho! Haven't eaten for a week?

When I think of my man's tofu, ...

B gentleman.

A I'll be tofu by then. Why are you fighting at home? I said, "Don't squeeze me either, I'll go out and run. Today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, I bring 1000 yuan to my family. We are husband and wife. Without this thousand dollars, we would be in the seventh grade. "

What are you doing on the seventh day of the second grade?

My room rate for the seventh day of every month.

B Then you want to give it to someone else.

I put down my sleeves and went out. It looks like a couple who draw lots, much better than the lottery.

B let's do it again.

My daughter-in-law saw that I looked pale, so she chased me to the door and slapped me on the back.

B let you come back.

A pushed me out. Collapse! Insert the door: "Three days? Think about it! If you don't come back tonight, I'll think of something tomorrow. " I regret it. You can't make a thousand dollars in three days! The more I think about it, the sadder it gets. Why am I still alive? Might as well die!

Be ambitious! Life is worse than death.

One who cares about me and who is not the same thing.

You are not a thing until you die.

How do you want me to die?

You can die how you want.

I killed myself.

B suicide requires a knife!

A no knife! I'll go home and get the knife. Isn't that troublesome? It's a narrow road to meet the overpass of condolences!

B what?

There was an old man with a tattered stall, throwing rags and socks into the ground, with a kitchen knife beside him. This is not a knife, it is my enemy! I have the heart to buy it, but I have no money. I'm really anxious. I went to pick up the knife, and the blade rushed outside and put it around my neck.

The second blade should be inserted.

What if a piece of armor is pulling me?

You're not going to die, are you?

A didn't intend to die. Why should I bring a knife?

B I don't know.

A: Ask if this knife is your own. If there is a master, let others follow suit after I die? Staring at the old man: "Whose knife is this?" Scared the old man shivering; "That knife has no owner." As soon as I heard that there was no owner, I turned away.

Why did you take someone else's knife?

Nonsense! This knife is also used for profit. This is a joke with the old man. Go to a corner and give it-

Man B, put it down!

A sold it!

B sold it?

A sold for forty dollars. I'm still hungry here, so I have to die like a fool. I bought half a catty of pancakes, sixteen pence, ten pence of sheep's head, two big candied haws, a big marinated shrimp, a penny of bean juice and two bowls of old tofu.

What do you call eating?

A I've had enough to eat and drink, and there's a big glass left. Is it still too late to die? Suicide!

B, just wipe it.

A is indelible.

B what?

A there is no knife.

Yes, you ate all the knives!

Do I have to kill myself? I can't jump into the river!

B Then you jump!

A When I left Yongdingmen, I stood on the bridge and looked at the moat. The water on it is flowing downwards, but I can't see it at all. Take three steps back, run forward, close your eyes and listen to the plop-

Did you jump?

I threw a brick in.

B: Why throw bricks?

A So you haven't learned to jump into the river?

Why should I study this?

A this is the trial depth.

B Then how do you know?

A brick was thrown in, and the water plopped deep; Paza, that's superficial.

Where did you throw this brick?

A plop.

B deep.

A to this extent. ...

B jump

A don't jump!

Why don't you jump?

I died alone in such a big river, so boring. I'm looking for your company. Are you going?

B I won't leave, you'll be a cushion if you die!

Must I dive? I won't hang myself?

Have you decided how to die?

As soon as A went straight to the southeast, she entered Dashakou. When we arrived at Anlelin, there was a forest there. I looked around. No one was there. Unfortunately, I threw a rope in front of my eyes, found a crooked-neck tree, put the rope on the tree and pulled a button. I cried as soon as I pulled the rope. I said, "Oh, my God!" " "(Shang Yun)

King Kong. Moo! Do you want to sing?

A I have a steel knife in my heart. In the Yangtze River, the cable broke, the boat collapsed, the tall building fell, cold water poured over my head, and ice was in my arms.

B Are you going to sing Du Shiniang?

A: My family has a white-haired mother, a young wife and a young child. I am an old mother, a charming wife and a minor child. My mother is over eighty this year, and I can't think of (singing) "White-haired people send black-haired people."

B will sing again.

My daughter-in-law is not yet thirty years old, and I don't know who I will marry when I die.

B then leave it alone.

A My son just turned seven this year and can say anything. Smarter than you, sir.

He is not as clever as me. Oh! Is there anything like that?

What saddens me most is that I am 32 years old and have never even been president!

B it's you, trying to blind your two good eyes.

A hanged man! People don't deserve to die, but they can be saved Hanging for two hours won't kill you Do you think this is new?

B: Are your feet suspended?

One hung more than two feet high.

Hanging around your neck?

A hung around his neck.

B which neck do you hang?

Ankle and ankle.

B ankle! Hanging for four hours won't kill you.

Which neck did you say to hang?

B, hang this neck.

A how uncomfortable it is to hang this neck.

B died without feeling bad?

How can I eat when A is dead?

You're not going to die, are you?

Why are you worried about my death so that you can take off my coat?

Why am I so blind?

A As the saying goes, "If you are trapped in the world, don't bury it in the soil." Worms are greedy for life, not to mention me!

B Don't be stubborn, just bake it.

A is not dead at all.

B didn't intend to die at all.

A try to get into Yongding Gate. It was eleven o'clock in the evening, and it was past twelve o'clock when I reached the fish mouth. Then my luck came.

B what luck?

A fresh fish is unloading. All leather, all straight hair. Fox ridge, fox, fox forehead, sea dragon, otter. The apprentice is also sleepy and confused. As soon as he carried this burden, he threw a roll of fur coat from the back of the car. It costs 400 yuan to throw away this roll of fur coat!

B Then you can get it.

Pick it up? People are there watching you pick it up? You just walked a short distance: "This is ours." Did you say you gave it to someone else or not?

B then don't give it.

A will not give it to others, but give you an open flame.

B Then you can go.

First, go? Where to find this thing! I crouched behind the telephone pole and looked at it. If you saw me, I would recognize me. If you can't see, it's mine. Without waiting for ten minutes, the goods were unloaded and the car went north. They closed the door and the lights went out. Wow! I like it here! I used to hug my hand-

B picked it up?

One bite at a time.

How can a fur coat bite?

Where is a? A rhubarb dog! The dog bit me. When I shouted, I was just in time for the cook to come out and dump the soil. Give me a big mouth when you come up. "Bite you? I have to bite you! It sleeps there. You hug it, and it won't bite you? I also tell you that we have lost four dogs here in the past three days. "

B I think you are a dog thief!

A I said, "I'm not stealing dogs!" " "He said," don't waste time! "Riveting me, fresh fish kicked me into the fence.

B: Good! The man became a ball.

I entered the jewelry market and met a fox spirit.

Where is the fox spirit?

A I see it.

B what's it like?

Jiaqing's robe is white, with a big collar, pointed wings and black veil. He stuffed a whip and nodded at me. There is a saying: "people are silent for a thousand times, and the goods are customized." )。 I quickly knelt down and kowtowed. "Away from ghosts and gods" is also called this.

Please don't turn.

Looking up, the fox spirit disappeared! Well, not now. Who put it there now?

B what?

There are dozens of glistening flowers on the steps of Jiazhengtong Bank. I don't want to mention this share. The dog bit my right hand and my left hand picked it up.

B pick it up.

One bite after another.

B: Why do foreign money bite people?

-Where? A black dog has a white nose.

B no, not catching immortals.

-Where? That's the dog.

Why does dog B wear a blue robe?

This is a black dog.

B Then why white-collar workers?

I thought its chest was white.

Isn't B still wearing a pointed-winged black veil?

That's a dog's ear.

B still carrying a whip?

-Where? The dog's tail.

B didn't give you a hand?

He chewed a bone and plugged his teeth. He pulled out the bone with his claws! I kowtow to the dog.

B: You're broke.

The more I think about it, the angrier I get. I picked up a brick and cut it open. I feel soft and sloppy.

Brick B.

A touched the shit! When you get angry, you shit on your shoes and cut them with your shoes. The dog took the shoes away as soon as it smelled the shit on them.

b！ I lost another shoe.

A ran after the dog wearing only one sock and finally got his shoes back. Go home and talk about it. This is not boasted by our buddies. I dare to scream at my street gate.

B it's not new. I dare to scream at our door.

A arrived at the door: "Open the door!" When my daughter-in-law heard my voice, she trembled with fear and sued me without opening the door.

What did b tell you?

"Wait, you can't die!"

Is this a complaint? This is called scolding.

As soon as A opened the door, the daughter-in-law said, "Husband, come back!" "

B I think you don't look like a husband, but like a mess

In my opinion, you are like a baiwenhang. Does anyone talk like that? I said, "Yes, dear."

B Are you two going to sing Broken Bridge?

The daughter-in-law said, "I'm back, son-in-law." I said; "My name is panggezhuang."

My name is Gaoliangqiao.

"Go back to my husband, wow, wow." I said; "Your husband (hatch) what ah? Didn't you see where I depilated here? "

Why are you joking with your wife?

A you don't know, my wife and I are pointing at teasing at dinner.

B, leave me alone.

As soon as A came in, I said, "Daughter-in-law, why don't you set the house on fire?" "Light the lamp, there is no oil." "What about the four wax heads I left for others to stay up late?" "Four wax heads, the mother ate one, the child ate one, and I ate the rest."

Wow! This family is starving, boss.

I said, "Give me the oil bottle." Holding the oil bottle, I feel there is a big penny in my pocket. Out of the door, I heard the shop clock strike two. At this time, let alone a large amount of oil, he can't drive a catty. Fei ran along our door to the store, panting as he ran to the door, talking nonsense: "boss!" Open the door quickly, manned. " Wake up the shopkeeper. "What to buy tomorrow, we are all asleep." "Manned, you sell half. I don't want to buy it at this time. My daughter-in-law is pregnant. I have an eldest son and you have a nephew. I bought too many things! Fifty catties of millet, fifty catties of brown sugar, one hundred eggs, thirty pieces of dried noodles, five knives of coarse papyrus and five knives of fine papyrus. I'll give you fifty dollars first and then talk about the difference tomorrow. " The shopkeeper jumped out of the shop and couldn't sell such things for three days! The shopkeeper is getting dressed to open the door. I said, "please open the small hole first and give you the money first." I have to ask people where to go. " As soon as the shopkeeper opened the hole, I sent the oil bottle in: "a big penny of oil first." That chicken, dried noodles and brown sugar are not busy. My daughter-in-law hasn't raised yet. Let's wait until we raise them. " The shopkeeper trembled with anger, and this scold: "Don't ask, it must be XXX next door, where did you go in the middle of the night!" " "Take the oil bottle, run to the oil sea, plug the loopholes, 421 pier, three pier. I hurried home and fell when I touched the oil lamp. Wow! Spilled all over the table.

B isn't this a waste?

Anyway, A came for nothing. Strike a match, zi, zi, zi, neither box of matches will be lit.

B oil is bad?

Where is a? The shopkeeper is jealous when he is angry!

This article is transferred from Chimelong Community in China. com: /bbs/ShowPost.asp？ PostID=5729