Why should parents be filial for three years in ancient times?

Traditionally, when an elder dies, the younger generation (sons, daughters, daughters-in-law, grandchildren) will be in mourning for three years. During the three-year period, filial piety must wear mourning clothes on time, gradually changing from heavy to light until it turns red, indicating that grief is gradually decreasing and it is fierce. During this mourning period, filial piety is not allowed to enter other people's homes and temples, to participate in any weddings and funerals, to go to happy places and cinemas, to marry and have children, and to celebrate holidays.

Filial piety for three years is an ancient tradition. The Book of Rites says, "What is the basis of the three-year mourning period? The answer is: this is a ceremony based on the degree of inner grief ... People are the most emotional animals, so they will miss their parents all their lives. If those unscrupulous and bohemian people are left unchecked, their parents will die early and forget later. If we follow their practice, even animals are not as good as animals ... Three years of mourning will end in 25 months ... Therefore, three years of mourning is the most perfect and solemn standard of human life. This has been observed by sages of all ages. Because it has a long history, I don't know when it started. Confucius said:' Children leave their parents' arms only at the age of three, so it is a common mourning period in the world to lose their parents for three years. (Wang Ning, editor-in-chief: "Comment on the Three Rites of the Vernacular Style")

The 25 months mentioned above is China's algorithm, but actually it is only 24 months. Chinese in our country have 24 months of mourning and 36 months of mourning. The latter mistook imaginary three years for real three years, and did not understand that China's algorithm was different from that of the West.

Don't go into other people's homes and temples during mourning. In the early days of China, the lifting of the ban was limited to one year, and the lifting of the ban could only be carried out one year later. However, the work style is different now. Generally, a ceremony of "going to the temple" is held on the 7th. When you go to the temple, you can enter the temple and other people's homes.

The restriction on not attending weddings and funerals is also one year. The current working mode has been reduced to 49 or 100 days.

The limit of not going to happy places and cinemas is 100 days. Now most people don't have this restriction after the funeral. Even before the funeral, they will go back to their homes to watch TV and listen to songs, or sing karaoke in the mourning hall. People have realized that singing, dancing and entertainment are forbidden at funerals, such as the death of national leaders, the broadcasting of funeral music or religious programs on TV and radio stations, and the business of happy places are also prohibited. But karaoke pop songs are all light music, how can they be sung in the mourning hall? Traditionally, plays can be performed at funerals, but all of them are filial piety plays in Five Sons Crying at the Tomb. So sing at the funeral, please sing a sad song. For example, the singer Chen Rong sang a song at his mother's funeral, and relatives and friends cried after hearing it. It was really touching.

Times have changed, and it seems impossible for people not to listen to music or watch movies for a hundred days. I think it is necessary to limit the ceremony to at least seven days. According to folklore, if you go to the theatre, the late ancestor will carry a board on the stage and make him suffer. In fact, this is a superstitious saying that people should not entertain during mourning.

Don't marry children. In the past, most marriages were "filial piety", that is, a simple wedding was held within 100 days, otherwise it would take three years (24 months). Now it is held a year after the soul is removed.

The restriction on not celebrating holidays is also three years. Every New Year, Dragon Boat Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival, winter solstice festival and other festive festivals can not be celebrated. So don't steam rice cakes, wrap zongzi and rub jiaozi. According to folklore, if the rice cake is steamed, the juice of the rice cake will burn the ancestors; You wrap zongzi, and it is tied to the hearts of ancestors; If you rub the glutinous rice balls, they will rub your ancestors' eyes. In fact, they are all superstitious statements, the purpose of which is to make people mourn and not celebrate festivals. When the people's wisdom is not open, superstitious preaching can often achieve remarkable results. Knowing that someone is in mourning, relatives and friends will naturally send seasonal food home when the festival comes. This is a traditional social atmosphere, which makes sense!

In addition, there are customs such as getting a haircut 49 or 100 days later and taking a bath after the funeral.

This article only discusses the custom of filial piety for three years in China, and the customs in Chinese mainland and Taiwan Province are more strict. Limited to space, I won't compare it here.

With the evolution of the times, the custom of keeping filial piety for three years has gradually faded. In addition to environmental and social factors, it also means that we are indifferent to traditional family ties. Compared with traditional spiritual civilization, people pay more attention to money and material civilization.

Folklore is alive, because times have changed, so will it. We can shorten the mourning period, go to other people's homes and temples, attend weddings, go to happy places and watch movies. However, please don't shorten the period of not celebrating the Chinese New Year Festival for three years. During the three-year (24-month) mourning period, please don't hang red lights, stick red Spring Festival couplets, and don't celebrate the New Year, Dragon Boat Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival and Winter Solstice Festival.

Because Confucius said; "Children leave their parents' arms after the age of 3, so mourning for their parents for three years is a common mourning period in the world. "I agree with Confucius that our parents have lovingly held us for three years, and we thank them for not celebrating for three years. Therefore, not celebrating for three years is our cultural heritage, and we should preserve the roots of this national culture!