What customs should girls pay attention to when they get married in Shijiazhuang, Hebei?

Men are old, and women are old. Getting married between a man and a woman is an important event in life. In the past, under the influence of "men and women don't kiss", young men and women could not fall in love freely, and marriage could only be carried out at the instigation of their parents and the media's opinion. Marriage customs are complicated, mixed with many feudal superstitions. General marriage procedures and customs are as follows:

First, propose marriage.

That is, the man entrusts the matchmaker to propose marriage to the woman's house. If the woman agrees to propose marriage, the man will go to the woman's house to propose marriage, commonly known as "matchmaking." In the old days, it was emphasized that "the door should be right for the door" and "choose by fate", and there were folk songs of "the door should be right for the door, the door should be right for the door, and the fence should be opened". Generally speaking, when a man entrusts a matchmaker to propose marriage, he first comprehensively considers whether his identity, land, property and children match the woman's family situation, that is to say, the conditions of both parties are similar. However, there are also matchmakers who value honor and are cheated. If the woman's parents are interested, they will ask someone to inquire about the man's situation. If they think the portal is similar, both men and women will make their own stickers. Geng Tie is made of red paper with name, age, three generations and native place written on it, commonly known as "Four Geng Tie", and then the two sides will exchange.

Second, ask the name.

Commonly known as begging eight characters. According to the year, month, day and hour of each person's birthday, the "eight characters" are matched with the words "heavenly stem" and "earthly branch", and the four items * * * have eight characters, so they are called "eight characters". Superstitious people think that a person's fate can be calculated according to the date of birth. Everyone belongs to one of the five elements, such as Golden Life, Wood Life, Water Life, fire of life Life and Earth Life. And the five elements can't get married.

The matchmaker first posted the man to the woman's house, wrote the woman's birthday together with the bride price on the back of the man's post, and the matchmaker brought it to the man, who begged Mr. He to "combine Xiao" and divined good and bad luck. If there is no "good luck" in the eight characters of men and women, both parents agree to get engaged. Of course, there are other sayings, such as "a female freshman can't make an appointment", "a wife is a sophomore" and "a wife is a junior with a golden brick".

Third, change jobs.

After a man and a woman decide to get married, they should send it by post, and the date of delivery should be chosen on an auspicious day. The matchmaker proposed to the woman first. The man puts the bride price money and the groom's note in a small box, wraps the box with red cloth or HongLing, and the matchmaker sends it to the woman's home together with the bride price (including coins, clothes and food). After the bride's family received the bride price, bride price and the man's boxer sticker, the woman put the boxer sticker in the original box and sent it back to the man's house together with clothes, dowry and happy fruit. This process is called changing the sticker.

Fourth, the gift.

This is the etiquette for the man to send a bride price to the woman's house after the marriage contract is concluded. The engagement that has been given a bride price is officially effective. In the old society, the average man gave his wife 100-200 yuan in foreign currency, clothes, bracelets, rings and other gifts. Before you get married, you should also "carry food baskets" (a shelf made of three rectangular boards), and at least three food baskets should be filled with rice, dried noodles, steamed bread, pork and so on. The pile on them should be sent by several people and carried to the woman's house.

Verb (abbreviation for verb) wedding preparation

Before you get married, you should choose a wedding date and choose a double date, such as the fourth day of April and August 28th. , or 369 auspicious days. After the election, the man's family prepares gifts and materials, and the wedding date is indicated on the red Cambodia sticker, and the matchmaker is asked to give it to the woman's family to inform relatives and friends of the wedding date. And began to clean up the courtyard and paint and decorate the new house. There are pictures of happiness hanging in the new house, gifts from Kirin, and questions for the entrance examination of Wuzi. Window grilles often include magpies, mandarin ducks, swallows and lotus seeds. Invitations and red "Hi" were plastered all over the house. Xilian often uses the words "get together for a hundred years", "grow old together", "blossom side by side", "unite as one" and "IKEA in Yi Shi". After receiving the man's red Cambodia stickers, the woman's family began to buy a dowry, greet her family and invite men and women to return. The elders in the family invited the married girl to eat "save the mother's face".

Sixth, get married

On the wedding day, both sides have the taboo of "aunt doesn't take it, aunt doesn't send it", and they are not allowed to entrust widows, second wives or people belonging to the bride and groom. It was a wedding day, a man's family. In front of the house, behind the house, inside and outside the courtyard, water was splashed and spotless. There is a red light hanging in front of the door. In the yard and under the eaves of the house, there are all kinds of happiness, clothes and quilts sent by relatives and friends everywhere, showing a warm and happy scene everywhere. When you get married, set off firecrackers, play umbrellas, light red lights, and bang drums. Conditional also please honor guard, suona accompaniment. In front of the woman's house, the woman deliberately "closed the door" for the man in advance, and opened the door to welcome him after he had stuffed the "door-crossing ceremony" into the door. Then lead them to the room for tea and "dismount their faces."

Before the bride gets on the sedan chair, she opens her face (also called opening her face), that is, she unscrews the hair from her face with thread. After dressing, say goodbye to your loved ones, then cover your face with a red scarf, sew dates, peanuts and copper coins on the four corners of the red scarf (that is, the luck of having a baby early), and hang a mirror on your chest to "ward off evil light". In the wedding song, the elder brother carries the sedan chair and the younger brother or younger generation follows it, which is called "sedan chair". When starting from the woman's house, the groom rides in front, the man accompanies the guest, and the man marries the guest to Beima. The bride's elders or two male relatives of the same age follow the groom's sedan chair, holding the sedan chair and escorting the dowry, commonly known as "seeing the guests off." The waitress rode or rode behind the sedan chair.

There used to be a custom in some places in Shijiazhuang, where daughters cried in front of the sedan chair to show that they were inseparable. Legend has it that a long time ago, two girls lived together and lived a hard life. Mother weaves and daughter spins. They work hard and slowly, but they still have the last meal, and there is no next meal. The mother watched her daughter grow up day by day and became more anxious. She has to find a husband's family for her daughter. So the mother entrusted the matchmaker to tell her daughter about her husband's family and set an auspicious day for her daughter to get married. Seeing that the happy days are getting closer every day, NianLia's sadness is getting deeper every day. When the man's sedan chair came to the door, the daughter looked at Niang's white hair and gaunt face and thought about how she would live without her. Didn't she starve to death? Thought of here holding niang's head and crying. This cry touched a passing fairy. Seeing two women crying so pitifully, they moved their hearts. They pointed to the tears on the girl's face, which turned into bright golden beans in Jin Guangcan. Seeing that there are so many golden beans that she can eat for a lifetime, the girl happily dressed up in a sedan chair. From then on, all the girls were unwilling to get on the sedan chair, so they couldn't drag on, so they cried a few times with their mothers in their arms. Even if there are no tears, they have to squeeze out a few tears for Jindou to feed her. Over the years, the custom of "crying when a daughter leaves her mother" has been formed and spread to this day.

When the bride marries back, she has to go around the village, and she is not allowed to go the same way, just not going back. Firecrackers and suona sound all the way, very lively. When the sedan chair stopped at the door, the groom dismounted and kowtowed to the sedan chair three times, indicating that he worshipped the sedan chair god. The bride was helped down from the sedan chair by the bridesmaid. After the bride came in, she stepped over the brazier first. It symbolizes that the days after marriage are "hot and explosive". Then set foot on the red carpet and get married in the nave. At this time, invite a respected person to be the best man (master of ceremonies) in advance to preside over the wedding.

This is what the best man sang before he got off work: "Best man, two steps, a phoenix and a mandarin duck in Yi Long, a harmonious couple." Then read happy songs, and the lyrics are auspicious words, such as "Luan Feng He Ming", "Flower full moon", "When the wedding is red, there is a dragon brand golden bucket at home", "Xiangfu door hangs colored silk, and the good girl matches the prince" and so on. Then sing in turn: the bride and groom worship heaven and earth; Second, worship Gao Tang (parents); Worship the ancestors three times; Cai Lang's Four Worship: Worship the Land; Six worships in Chunxuan; Visit relatives and friends 7 times; Goodbye, husband and wife. After the bride and groom worship eight times, they should have a drink for a change. I heard the best man sing, "Here's to reconciliation, and husband and wife will grow old together. Look at the groom-the first golden flower is auspicious, wearing a landscape embroidered mandarin duck: black boots lined with red flowers on a white background. He is so cool. Look at the bride-colorful crests inlaid with beautiful things, flying eastward in purple dresses. HongLing covered her eyebrows and almond eyes, and the lotus hid under her skirt. In front of the couple's hall, flowers and candles are bright, and a pair of mandarin ducks are well matched. Then the dragon and phoenix songs are played in the music class. In the music, the bridesmaids sang auspicious songs: "The mountains and rivers will always set each other off, and the laughter in the room will tell their worries; Flowers stand on the ground, and auspicious rising stars shine high at four o'clock. "When the best man finished singing, everyone laughed their heads off, which made people deeply feel that the marriage customs were full of fun, kind and funny.

At this time, the man's family spread sacks on the ground for the last time, and let the bride walk in the street, each carrying a family line, so as to lead the bride into the bridal chamber. Before entering the bridal chamber, the groom holds a bow and arrow and shoots three arrows through the bride's head to ward off evil spirits. Elsewhere, the Grass Festival is celebrated on the bride's head. At this time, the best man sang: "Hold your head high in the bridal chamber, and Kirin will send a son to chase you." "A handful of chestnuts and dates will make girls and boys run all over the floor."

Before entering the bridal chamber, a woman with both parents and a living husband must be invited to arrange bedding for the bride and groom in the new house. And sprinkle a handful of five-color grains under the mattress for good luck and a bumper harvest. There are some red dates under the bed, which means that your son was born early. There are several peanuts under the pillow, which means that boys and girls have "flowers" and "health". When the bride entered the bridal chamber, the groom uncovered the bride's "hijab" and the neighbors began to "make trouble in the bridal chamber". The custom of disturbing the bridal chamber has a long history. Every household thinks that the more people come to their house to make trouble in the bridal chamber, the better, and the more they can show people's dignity and glory. As the saying goes, "the bride is no big or small for three days." On this day, no matter men, women and children, they can enter the house to "see the new wife", the bride of Doby, regardless of whether she is a vegetarian or not. The intention is to turn a shy yellow flower girl into a generous wife. At night, there are people lurking in the window of the bridal chamber to eavesdrop on the private conversation of the bride and groom, commonly known as "listening room". If it rains or snows, my mother will gently lean against a broom under the window to complete the ceremony of "listening to the room".

On this day, when the man comes back from the wedding, he should not only entertain relatives and friends, but also warmly entertain the woman's guests and show her dowry, that is, the woman's elder representatives sing, show the gifts sent by relatives and friends one by one, and send them to the man's representative for acceptance, commonly known as "setting the stage." At this time, sons and nephews who do good deeds discredit the groom's mother or menstruation and sister-in-law for fun.

Seven, after the wedding etiquette

The next day, the bride and her relatives received a courtesy call. After paying homage to the ancestors and going to the grave, the woman's family led relatives to the man's house to recognize their relatives and take back the new couple, which is called "makeup return", commonly known as "face return", and invited the groom to have a good meal. My good brother good sister-in-law often makes fun of the groom by wrapping peppers in jiaozi. Return to the man's house that day.

On the third day, the newlyweds take gifts and go to their parents' home by sedan chair (or car), commonly known as "three dynasties returning to the door". The man sent someone to send a bun to the woman's house, calling it "carrying a basket" to take the groom home. In a couple of days, the bride's parents will send her daughter to the man's house again, which is called "having three lives twice". Take the woman back after six days and send her to the man's house after the full moon. This is called "crossing the moon". At this point, the wedding ceremony came to an end.

During the Spring Festival in their first year of marriage, the bride and groom should pay New Year greetings to their parents. The time is usually on the second or third day of the first month. There is a folk song: "the first day, from the second day to the third day;" The young couple, well-dressed, with new year's goods and cakes, are rushing to pay a New Year call to the donkey. " You can't go home empty-handed. Be sure to bring some annual loans and local products, as the folk song goes: "drink, smoke and bring a big basket of rice cakes." This also means that the married daughter does not forget the kindness of her parents.