Is the problem of migrant workers' "temporary husband and wife" an emotional need or a physiological need? what do you think?

With the reform and opening up, the domestic population can flow freely, which has injected vitality into the vast rural areas. Letting a large number of rural surplus laborers go out to work can not only increase the income of rural and peasant friends, but also accelerate the process of urbanization in China.

Going out to work not only increases the income of a large number of migrant workers, but also brings some practical problems. For example, many couples can only go out to work, and the other one has to take care of the elderly and children at home, and their physical and psychological needs are not met, thus breeding the phenomenon of migrant workers' "temporary couples".

We interviewed several migrant workers on this issue to see what they really think. In order to protect privacy, they all used pseudonyms.

1. A Zheng, male, aged 4 1, is a welder on a construction site. He has been a temporary couple for more than two years, out of physiological needs.

Ah, he is doing electric welding on a construction site. There is a lot of work on the construction site, and he has worked here for more than three years. A Zheng said that working is a good thing, so you don't have to look for work everywhere, and your income is stable, so you don't have to worry about the problem of owing money. When I first came, I was very happy and worked hard to see such a big construction site. I hope to earn more money and repair my home.

When I first came, I went to bed after work every day. I didn't feel anything at first, but I felt something was wrong after a long time, because normal men still have physiological needs, but there was nothing I could do. My wife is more than 1000 km away from her. At this time, I especially envy people who come to work on the construction site with my husband and wife. Sometimes I want to find a place to solve my physiological needs in an indecent place outside, but I am afraid of getting sick.

I've been working at the construction site for a long time and found something fishy. Some couples in the construction site actually live together temporarily. Many people know these things, so they are tacit. When I saw these A Zheng, I was moved. I once went to a small restaurant for a drink and met Ali, a handyman there. I think it's right, so I often go. After a while, the two became familiar with each other and then moved in together.

Because Ali is also working alone and her husband is at home. To put it bluntly, Ali and A Zheng have the same idea, that is, to solve their own physiological needs. As for feelings, A Zheng's saying no is also false. After all, they have been together for more than two years. However, during the Chinese New Year, they all go back to their homes and don't contact each other. Usually, the rent for renting a house is two-thirds in A Zheng and one-third in Ali; A Zheng thinks it's not easy for her to come out alone, and the welder's salary at the construction site is OK, so most of the time A Zheng pays the rent.

Sometimes, A Zheng's heart got stuck, and he was innocent all his life. In the past two years, his wife has found a woman who thinks he is quite inhuman. There are men and women, and his wife knows that she must divorce, which is too harmful to her children. But I just can't control my lower body, I'm impulsive.

A Ling, female, is a restaurant deliveryman. She was temporarily ill for five months and cured herself. She can't tell whether this is a physical need or a psychological need.

A Ling is a 36-year-old woman. Actually, she is very good-looking. According to her, because her husband had a car accident when he was engaged in transportation at home, his body was broken and he could not do the things of husband and wife. Everyone in the family knows that they have slept in separate beds for five years. Later, because her twin sons and daughters were going to high school, she went out to work alone to pay the tuition.

The first stop of her work is a relatively large restaurant, where she works as a dishwasher, because the restaurant has regulations to assess, that is to say, how many bowls should be washed every day to complete the task, and the extra money should be counted. There is a vegetable cutter about her age who often helps. After a long time, A Ling found that they really hit it off and felt very good.

As they got to know each other better, they went shopping together later, and sometimes they went to a roadside stall to eat something late at night. Once, both of them drank some beer. I don't know whether it was the courage after drinking or the long-awaited one, but there was no breakthrough. She followed him back to his rented house. Once, she was addicted, because she hadn't felt the taste of being a woman for a long time, so they lived together. The man knows that there are two children studying at home and often gives her 300 yuan and 500 yuan. She was happy because she felt physically satisfied and met a good man.

The good times didn't last long. After living together for only a few months, A Ling found that her lower body was sour and itchy. When she went to the clinic, the doctor told her that it was condyloma acuminatum. She thought that she had never had sex with another man except him, so she asked him. He admitted that she and her young lady were ill. Finally, she had to treat the disease here without telling her family. Fortunately, that man has a conscience and helped her out with most of the money.

After her illness, she quit her old job and left the man who works here now.

She said that she was confused about the future, and wondered if she would be tempted to meet a good man in the future, because a woman was particularly tired and lonely at night.

3. Brother Long, male, 32 years old, works as a builder on the construction site. He joined the husband and wife for three years temporarily. First he had physical needs, and then he joined a relationship.

Brother Long came out to work after graduating from junior high school. He also worked in a wool mill and an electronics factory for half a year, but he thought those jobs were too boring. It was too monotonous for him, so he went back to work.

He said that a temporary couple like him is acceptable, because everyone has secular desires, and he can't accept not having sex all year round, unless it's bad. At that time, many conditions for temporary boarding had to be made clear in advance.

He has now found a roommate, and they are all agreed in advance. For example, if there is a phone at home, the other party should avoid it; How to allocate daily expenses; How to contact at ordinary times; How to bear the rent; We can't get in touch, whether at ordinary times or during the Spring Festival.

Later, I lived together for more than a year and found that they both hit it off. Anyway, it's the feeling of attachment to each other. Sometimes I miss her for a few days, but these are all under my control, because we have agreed in advance not to destroy each other's families. Because I trust each other more and more, I added a condition to make it clear in advance that I can help each other when I have difficulties at home.

Later, the Longge family built a house in the town, collected 50 thousand, and took her 50 thousand. Later, I was short of 5 thousand yuan. She helped him borrow 5000 yuan from his workmates. Brother Long was very moved by this, and it took him almost a year to pay off the money. Later, her house was short of 30 thousand, and brother Long borrowed 30 thousand, and now she has paid back half of it.

Brother Long feels that this relationship is well maintained, like relatives and lovers.

I asked Brother Long, have you ever thought about what to do if your wife or her husband finds out about this?

Brother Long was silent, threw me a white cigarette, lit one himself and spit out a smoke ring.

The above is an interview with migrant workers. Let's interview others about this phenomenon:

1.35-year-old project manager Mr. Ma has a negative attitude towards the phenomenon of "temporary couples" of migrant workers.

I am an engineer myself and often go to many construction sites as a supervisor. There is indeed a phenomenon of "temporary couples" on the construction site. Because everyone has secular desires and physiological needs, men and women on the construction site naturally form a "temporary couple" after a long time.

However, it is immoral to give points from other places, and it also has an impact on families. In addition, if you are not careful, you will spread diseases and eventually harm others and yourself. I feel that this kind of thing is playing with fire, and if I am not careful, I will get burned.

2. Ms. Li, assistant financial controller, is 28 years old and has an understanding attitude towards migrant workers' "temporary couples".

I don't think we can judge them by their phenomena. They have made indelible contributions to our city. I think there is a very important reason for this phenomenon besides physical and psychological reasons, that is, their income is low; They earn more than 4000 yuan a month. Besides rent, water, electricity and food, how much is left? If two people live together, the hukou will be too cost-effective.

Some people may think that I am talking nonsense. I grew up in the countryside and came out after the college entrance examination. You know, in some rural areas, a family of four or seven or eight people depends on farming, which costs thousands of dollars a year. Sometimes it is even worse to encounter natural and man-made disasters, so every penny is precious to farmers and friends and is the hope of family members.

So I don't think we should judge this matter from the moral height. They have no good education and skills. If there is no way, they will come out to work? Don't they want to stay at home with their wives and children? But what can we do? The children have to go to school, the two old people in the family have to raise and the house has to be repaired. Are these because they are migrant workers and don't want money?

Third, Aunt Wu, a retired worker with grandchildren, holds a negative attitude towards the phenomenon of "temporary couples" of migrant workers.

Maybe it's because older people are more traditional. It is unacceptable to cheat outside the husband and wife, which will easily lead to unstable marriage and the risk of disease spread.

Of course, it is not easy for so many people to come to the city to make a living, and it has also brought a lot of contributions to the city. I have to admit this. You see how much convenience it has brought us, such as cleaning the city, building tall buildings and express delivery. Therefore, for these lovely people, we can't take legal coercion. The best way is for working couples to come out together, or to keep the moral bottom line, and at the same time, the society should pay more attention to it.

How to treat "temporary couples" of migrant workers? What do you think should be done?