How to control your temper in the workplace? I almost lost my temper today.

Extreme emotion is a defect that cannot be underestimated in life. In real life, if you can't treat others correctly, you must not treat yourself correctly. Seeing others make achievements and become famous, they feel great and even try their best to discredit others; Seeing that others are not as good as themselves, they are cynical and raise themselves by suppressing others. Everywhere I ask others to respect myself, but I don't respect others. In dealing with major issues, he is impulsive, goes his own way and is subjective and arbitrary. People like this, who are in business and work, have not achieved enough, and I am afraid it is difficult to get along with others in society. Extreme people always look at problems with colored glasses, generalize, stick to their own opinions, and get into a dead end, ignoring people's well-intentioned persuasion and equal discussion. Extreme people complain, complain too much, complain all day about being born at the wrong time and having no talent, and only ask what others have provided him, not what he has contributed to others. Extreme people lack friends. People like to make friends with the same voice and similar feelings. They all like to make friends with knowledgeable and modest people. They always think that they are clever, for example, and they pick fights with others as soon as they open their mouths. Who wants to deal with him? So most extreme people are not popular. Extreme personality and emotions are a mental illness. It comes from extreme poverty in knowledge, ignorance in knowledge, self-enclosed consciousness in society, subjective idealism in thought and so on. In this regard, only by taking the right medicine, enriching one's knowledge, increasing one's experience, participating in more beneficial social activities, and mastering the correct thoughts and methods can we effectively overcome this extreme psychology of "one leaf can't see Mount Tai". It is undoubtedly a valuable good quality for a person to have his own opinion and brain, not to pitch with others and not to rise and fall with the world. However, this must be based on the premise of not being opinionated. Whether men or women, there should be more dialectical views in their minds. Sticking to a corner, sitting in a well and watching the sky, and treating your prejudice as the truth to death, is a taboo in life, and it is also a taboo in life. If you don't seriously correct this "legacy of Guan Yu", you will probably get into the "Maicheng" of life and never be born. ■ Don't worry! Take your time. When you are faced with failure or decline, don't panic and break into a furious rage. Try to focus on positive thoughts such as "Even if you fail, at least you have learned something", which will magically relieve tension and help you make correct judgments and reactions. ■ Admitting that you are wrong, listening to other people's views and opinions, and bravely facing your own mistakes are definitely a big step forward in the EQ index. ■ Don't be accepted easily. You must learn to keep a keen eye on temptation at any time. Because Xiaohui may have to pay a great price behind it. A safer response is to say something nice, such as "Thank you for your proposal, I will think it over carefully" and "This offer is attractive and worth considering", and then change the subject to let the other person know that you really need time to think about it. This will enable you to regain control instead of making a decision that you will regret later. ■ Learning is clearer and more decisive. Try to express your views and ideas in the most concise and clear words. Don't talk nonsense, which may not only drive the other person crazy, but also upset you. ■ A common mistake people make is that they often don't distinguish between people. In the face of criticism, they intuitively think that others can't get along with you. They don't take it for granted, and they don't overreact. Instead, they weep and heal themselves, and even lose confidence. At this point, we should learn to be rational and practical. ■ Communication, then communication. Don't be a "shrinking turtle" who runs away whenever something happens. Face difficulties frankly and communicate tirelessly. After the rain clears, you will definitely learn and grow. ■ Learn to judge priorities. There are many facts to deal with in life, and some unimportant things may as well relax; Focus on urgent and influential tasks, you know, trivial things are usually the most tiring. If you don't learn to give up the light, you will always feel like an active volcano, which may erupt at any time. ■ Be fully prepared. For example, before making a big plan, you must be fully prepared and concentrate on the key points of the activity at the critical moment when the countdown begins. If you feel nervous, try to imagine that this activity is about to end very successfully. It will make you calm down a little and focus on the details of the process, and the chances of successfully completing the task will be relatively improved. ■ Speak frankly about your needs If you expect others to read minds and know your needs accurately, I'm afraid you will always live in disappointment. ■ Don't be impetuous. If you have grievances in your heart, just find a friend to complain. Remember, people with high emotional intelligence don't bury their depression in their hearts. People often say, "Impulse is the devil". In daily life, many people will do things that they regret when they are emotional. Therefore, learning to manage and control your emotions effectively is a sign of a person's maturity and an important foundation for success in the workplace. There are obvious differences in "emotional control ability" between employees with excellent performance and employees with average performance, and psychological characteristics even play a decisive role in whether they are qualified for a certain position. In recent two years, American psychologists have also been conducting related research on "emotional management". Research shows that being able to control emotions is the basic requirement of most jobs, especially in management and service industries. Similarly, in China, a society that pays attention to "friendship between gentlemen" since ancient times, learning self-regulation is an important condition for maintaining good interpersonal relationships and achieving success. Huangdi Neijing says that people have secular desires, like sadness, anger hurts the liver and worries about the lungs, spleen and kidney. It can be seen that emotional reaction is an aspect of normal behavior, but excessive use of emotions will harm the body. Few people are born to control their emotions, but in daily life, people should learn to adapt. First of all, when you encounter strong emotions, you should take a "plan to slow down", force yourself to calm down, quickly explain the cause and effect of the matter, and then take action to try not to let yourself fall into an impulsive, reckless and simple passive situation. For example, when being ridiculed by others, if you get angry and refute immediately, it is likely to cause disputes between the two sides and hurt harmony. However, if silence is used as a weapon at this time, or only a few words are used to express their injuries positively, the other party will feel embarrassed. Furthermore, it is best to read more books on China traditional culture, which contain many methods to guide interpersonal communication and personal cultivation. You can also carry out some targeted training to cultivate your patience, such as practicing calligraphy and painting. The way to control emotions is that when you are depressed, your mood is high; Laugh when you are sad; When you are sick, double your work; When you are afraid, go forward bravely; When you feel inferior, put on new clothes; Raise your voice when you are upset; When you are down and out, imagine the future wealth; When you are at a loss, look back at past successes; When you laugh at yourself, think about your goals; When arrogant, pursue the memory of failure; When enjoying yourself, remember the days of starvation; When you are complacent, don't forget the moment of humiliation; When you are self-righteous, see if you can stop the wind; When you have money, think about those who don't have enough to eat; When you are complacent, think about your cowardice; When I am arrogant, let me look up at the stars! ! ! The effective way to control emotions is to learn to be tolerant. Every time I meet someone who makes me angry, if it is my family, I will use my family to resolve it and hurt the people I love. In the end, I will be hurt by myself. If you are a friend, you should understand with a broad mind, and you will not come back without your friend's friendship; If you are colleagues, forgive them generously and you will win respect; If you are a passer-by, you should laugh it off, because it reflects your noble character and personality charm. If you are wrong, just admit it directly, so that you can make more progress. In terms of physical methods, whenever you encounter the above things, you can touch your head, pat your forehead, rub your mouth, roll your eyes, take deep breaths several times in a row, then smile and leave in moderation. In this way, your anger will be relieved a lot. If you are still breathing, exercise until you sweat. Consciousness can regulate the occurrence and intensity of emotions by regulating human consciousness. Generally speaking, if we can clearly understand the root causes of their emotional fluctuations, we can adjust our emotions more effectively. Language is a powerful tool to influence people's emotional experience and expression. Emotional reactions can be caused or suppressed by language. For example, Lin Zexu hangs a banner with the words "Control Anger" on the wall, which is an example of using language to control and adjust emotions. Pay attention to shift your attention from negative emotions to other aspects. The writer Turgenev suggested that those who are headstrong and quarrelsome should turn their tongues in their mouths ten times before speaking. The method of action transfer is to turn emotions into the power of action, that is, to turn anger into the power to engage in science, culture, study, work, art and sports. Release method allows angry people to say unfair and indignant things frankly to eliminate their anger, or punch a few punches on sandbags and heads to relax their nervous function. Self-control, learn to relax: When you feel too nervous, uneasy or scared, you can take a deep breath to relax yourself, that is, breathe in deeply and exhale slowly to relax your body and mind. You can also use self-suggestion methods, such as repeating: "I am very relaxed now, and my whole body is in a state of natural relaxation." You can also encourage yourself by recalling past successful experiences. Learn to transfer: When the internal heat rises, consciously changing the subject or doing something else to divert attention can relieve the mood. Playing ball games, walking and listening to pop music also help to transfer unpleasant emotions. Learn to vent: when you encounter unpleasant things and grievances, don't bury them in your heart, but tell or cry to your intimate friends or relatives. This kind of venting can release the bad feelings of inner stagnation, which is conducive to maintaining physical and mental health, but the object, place, occasion and way of venting should be appropriate to avoid hurting others. Learn to comfort: when a person pursues a certain goal and fails to achieve it, in order to reduce his inner disappointment, he can find a reason to comfort himself, just as a fox says grapes are sour when he can't eat them. This is not self-deception, but it is very beneficial as a way to relieve emotions occasionally. Learn humor: Humor is a special emotional expression and a tool for people to adapt to the environment. Having a sense of humor can keep a positive and optimistic attitude towards life. Many seemingly annoying things, handled in a humorous way, can often make people's unpleasant emotions disappear and become relaxed immediately. (1) First, mobilize your reason, control your emotions and calm yourself down. When you encounter strong emotions, you should force yourself to calm down and quickly understand the cause and effect of things, and then adopt "delaying tactics" to express emotions or eliminate impulses, and try not to fall into an impulsive, reckless and simple passive situation. For example, when you are satirized and laughed at by others, if you are furious and retorted, it is likely to cause disputes between the two sides, and the anger is getting bigger and bigger, which naturally does not help. However, if you can remind yourself to calm down and take rational countermeasures at this time, such as using silence as a weapon, or expressing your hurt in a few words and accusing the other party of being bored, the other party will feel embarrassed. (2) Use hints to divert attention. Things that make you angry usually touch your dignity or vital interests, so it is difficult to calm down at once. So when you feel that you are very excited and can't control your emotions, you can relax yourself and encourage yourself to restrain your impulses by prompting and diverting your attention. Verbal hints, such as "don't be the victim of impulse", "deal with this later, it's no big deal", or change something simple, or go to a quiet and peaceful environment, are all effective. People's emotions often take only a few seconds or minutes to calm down. But if the bad mood can't be transferred in time, it will be more intense. For example, the more worried people think about their worries, the more they feel that they have many reasons to worry; The more angry people think about angry things, the more they think they should be angry. According to the research of modern physiology, when people encounter dissatisfaction, anger and sadness, they will send unpleasant information to the brain, gradually forming the temporality of the nervous system and forming the dominant center, which will be consolidated more and more. If you immediately shift, think about happy things, send happy information to your brain, and strive to build a happy excitement center, you will effectively resist and avoid bad emotions. (3) After calming down, think about whether there is a better solution. When encountering conflicts, contradictions, and unsatisfactory things, you can't just escape, but you must also learn how to deal with contradictions. Generally, the following steps are taken: ① What are the main reasons for the conflict? What is the key to the differences between the two sides? ② What are the possible ways to solve the problem? ③ What solutions are unacceptable to one party to the conflict? ④ Which solutions are acceptable to both parties to the conflict? ⑤ Find the best scheme, take action and gradually accumulate experience. For example, Xiao Ming is in a bad mood these days. It turned out that he had a conflict with his father because he played football: his father asked him to give up his favorite football and concentrate on his studies; Xiaoming himself has a strong interest in football and is unwilling to give up galloping on the court. What are the solutions to the problem after the reasons for the differences are clarified? There are four schemes as follows: ① Give up football training and concentrate on study; (2) Give up football training and not concentrate on study; ③ Insist on football training, which affects learning; (4) Arrange the time reasonably, not only insist on football training, but also give consideration to study. Among them, the second and third plans were not witnessed by his father, and Xiao Ming was unwilling to accept the first and second plans. Since the fourth plan is acceptable to both sides, I might as well try it. (4) At ordinary times, you can carry out some targeted training to cultivate your patience. You can choose a few things that need meditation, care and patience, such as practicing calligraphy, painting and exquisite handicrafts. Combining one's hobbies not only cultivates one's temperament, but also enriches one's spare time. Middle school students are young, enthusiastic, full of ideals and full of vigor. This is a period from naivety to maturity; This is a period when the inner world is not easily revealed; This is a period in which sex and dependence coexist; This is also a period of simple thinking, little conservative thinking and enterprising spirit; At the same time, it is also a period of emotional coping style, which is easy to go to extremes and prone to mental illness. Learning to manage and control their emotions is an important foundation for middle school students to mature and succeed in life. Learn to transfer. When the internal heat rises, consciously changing the subject or doing something else to distract attention can relieve the mood. Being a slave, you can relax your nervousness by watching movies, listening to music, playing chess, walking and other meaningful relaxation activities. Learn to vent. People will inevitably have all kinds of bad emotions in their lives. If we don't take appropriate measures to vent and adjust, it will have a negative impact on body and mind. Therefore, if someone has unpleasant things and grievances, don't keep them in your heart, but tell your intimate friends and relatives, or cry. This kind of venting can release the accumulated stagnation in the heart and benefit people's physical and mental development. Of course, the object, place, occasion and way of venting should be appropriate to avoid hurting others. study When a person can't get something, in order to reduce his inner disappointment, he often finds a high-sounding reason for failure to comfort himself, just like a fairy tale in which a fox says that grapes are sour when he can't eat them, so he is called "sour grape psychology". Language restraint method: When emotional, Bai Ji silently or euphemistically warns "calm down", "don't be angry" and "pay attention to his identity and influence" to suppress his emotions. You can also write down banners such as "curse your anger" and "calm down" in advance, put them on your desk or hang them on the wall. Self-suggestion method: It is estimated that you may be a little nervous in some cases. First, find a few powerful reasons to stop yourself from feeling this way. Happy memory method environmental transformation method: when in a state of intense emotion, temporarily leave the environment and related people that cause emotion. Humor solution: cultivate a sense of humor, express your emotions tactfully and skillfully with meaningful words, expressions or actions, and satirize. Inference and comparison method: dissect all aspects of difficulties, compare your own experience with others' experience, find the secret of success in comparison, strengthen your confidence in success and eliminate your fear of difficulties. Depression sublimation method: when you are not reused, in adversity, looked down upon by others, and feel depressed, you can devote your energy to the cause you are interested in, and change your situation and improve your mood through success. 1, look at the trouble from a different background. For example, the moon we usually see is mostly in the sky with a vast universe in the background. In contrast, the moon is very small: when the moon has just stepped out of the horizon and the treetops on the land are all left and right as a contrast, the moon looks much bigger against these objects than when it is in the sky. So if you feel that the environment is oppressive to you, or you are always worried about small things, I suggest you change to a more open and broader environment to purify your mind. 2, clear behavior and mentality. Boredom is a "universal emotion" of modern people, which is universal. In this state of mind, work is the easiest way to make people happy. Although work itself can't directly give people pleasure, the nature of work makes people face or participate in a challenging activity with skills and skills, so it can bring people endless fun. Therefore, if you want to fundamentally eliminate bad emotions, you must start from your own work and pour your enthusiasm, responsibility and wisdom into it, making it a challenging and challenging activity for yourself. 4. Rich spare time life. Nowadays, many people spend their leisure time by watching TV, reading novels and chatting. The arrangement of spare-time life is monotonous, and the result is often that the more brilliant others are, the more they feel small and empty. Therefore, in their spare time, people should also have positive, creative and challenging spirit to make their lives colorful and interesting. 5. Happiness begins at home. We spend most of our time at home with our families. Creating a warm and happy family environment will help you get rid of boredom. 6. vent your sadness. Many years ago, the English poet william blake wrote a healthy poem about self-venting. This poem is called poison tree. The first verse of the poem tells us the value of talking: I am angry with my friend, and when I say this anger, it disappears; I am angry with the enemy. I didn't say that. It has grown up. It is not enough to eliminate sadness by self-venting, but also to strengthen the exercise of willpower. Beethoven, a musician, once said, "One of the great advantages of outstanding people is that they can persevere in unfavorable and difficult encounters." 7. Learn to smile. Smile is not only a modality, but also a state of mind, which is the synthesis of modern people's emotional consciousness and corresponding intelligence. Shakespeare once said, "If you don't smile at the sky, your day will be in vain." An American psychological home appliance believes that "whether you can laugh is the standard to measure whether a person can adapt to the surrounding environment." This is an exaggeration, but a sincere smile can really infect others. Smile is a "good medicine", a "passport" to health and the cheapest and fastest "tonic" in the world. We might as well smile often, use a smile to adjust our nervous mood, and let others get relaxed and happy from our sweet and sincere smile. 8. feel happy. In fact, fatigue and happiness go hand in hand. Looking for happiness in fatigue is a noble realm of life: happiness belongs to each of us and has nothing to do with the amount of material wealth; Happiness is a kind of feeling, which can only be enjoyed if you feel it, that is to say, you can only be happy if you are satisfied; Happiness is a kind of cultivation and an atmosphere. As long as you have a tolerant heart for others and an appreciation for life, you will feel happiness, enjoy happiness and have a happy life. Emotion and successful homework 1. How do you usually adjust and control your emotions? Tell me about your methods. 2. Can you smile freely even in adversity? 3. Which has greater influence and function on you, emotion or reason? 4. What kind of results do you often get when you bring emotions to work? Please design a calm and emotional self and describe it in detailed language. 6. If you are bored, please check the reason first and write it down on paper. Write clearly what you are doing one by one, and then try to change it. Do it, compare the feelings before and after, and see what's the difference. 7. How do you usually adjust and control your emotions? How about these methods? 1, pay attention to the transfer, and avoid the intense focus of excitement in the human cerebral cortex when you are sad, sad or angry. If we can consciously control the process of brain excitement and inhibition, so that the focus of excitement can be transformed into a calm state of inhibition, we may maintain a psychological balance and free ourselves from negative emotions. For example, when you are depressed and upset, don't think about things that cause depression, try to avoid worrying, consciously listen to music and watch TV, and force yourself to divert your attention. This can turn negative emotions into positive emotions and dilute or even forget boredom. 2, rational control, self-cooling rational control refers to the intention and accomplishment of controlling or alleviating the outbreak of bad emotions; Self-cooling refers to efforts to reduce anger to a state of peace and restraint, to reduce one's anger with reason and to maintain emotional stability. Lin Zexu hung a banner of "Controlling Anger" in his room to remind himself to control his emotions in time. The famous writer Turgenev put the tip of his tongue in his mouth ten times before persuading people to quarrel. This is a fact. 3. Openness and self-denial make everyone pay attention to self-restraint, eliminate depressed emotions and selfish distractions, handle things that are easy to anger with an open-minded, optimistic, humorous and generous attitude, and stand up to setbacks and self-denial. This can often make the original tense things easier and make the embarrassing scenes dissolve in humor and laughter. L, think from the opposite side, turn sorrow into joy. If you lose something you love, you can comfort yourself with such methods as "a blessing in disguise, how to know that it is not a blessing" and "breaking money to avoid disaster". 2. vent appropriately. If you have bad emotions such as sadness, idleness and resentment, you can tell your family, relatives and friends, and sometimes you can cry with them to vent your inner bad emotions. 3. reflect on yourself. Thinking about the ins and outs of things from many aspects, seeing what you did wrong, or changing roles and understanding each other's feelings from each other's standpoint, sometimes have unexpected results. 4. Psychology. There are many forms, such as outpatient service, letters, etc. You can use this method when you encounter emotional problems that cannot be solved by the above three methods. 1. Self-consolation method. This is a remarkable sign of people who master emotions. When they are in a bad mood, they often use this method without persuasion and explanation, let alone see their psychology clearly. Most people have the experience that when something bothers them, when others don't persuade them, it won't cause mood swings again. When others persuade them, their mood fluctuates even more, which makes them have a lot of new emotions, rambling and connecting many dead ends. In fact, it is wise to comfort yourself. 2. Language suggestions. No matter how excited you are, it is very important to grasp the appropriateness of your emotions. At this time, smart people will secretly cheer themselves up in their hearts: excessive emotions will affect their work and their behavior; Rage will have bad consequences; Getting carried away will damage your identity and so on. It should be "strategic contempt, tactical attention." The key problem is to find the angry exhaust valve, not just to puncture the angry airbag. Let the anger vent slowly, instead of being "smashed into pieces" like an exploding balloon. 3. Environmental transformation law. Environment has an important influence and restriction on people's emotions and emotions. Therefore, changing the environment can play a role in regulating emotions. When you are emotional, turning away and changing the environment will have unexpected effects. As the saying goes, out of sight, out of mind, that's the truth. 4. Exercise-driven method. Emotion will naturally disappear or decline in people's exercise. When you are in a bad mood, jog or take an outdoor walk. , will make your mood slowly stretch, and then become comfortable, bad mood will be driven away or most of them will be driven away.