What is the impact of the "strict father and mother" model of family education on children?

The "strict father, kind mother" is the traditional education model of the Chinese family, which is also known as the "red face and white face". In terms of educating children, the father usually plays the stern, unapproachable role, while the mother plays the gentle, considerate and talkative role.

So, what kind of impact does this model of family education have on children?

In the movie "The Descent of Nezha the Magic Child", Li Jing and Mrs. Yin can be described as a pair of strict parents. Although they are both very busy with their work and are away from home for three days to defend the Chentang Pass, Mrs. Yin treats Nezha gently.

Li Jing, on the other hand, is a serious, stern father, who of course loves his son dearly, but his personality makes him poor at expressing it. So Nezha assumes that his father doesn't love him, and although he longs for his father's approval in his heart, he still expresses a rebellious demeanor.

It was only later, when Nezha was heartbroken, that he learned from Taiyi's mount what Li Jing had done for him, and he realized that his father loved him too. And it was this opportunity that cheered him up.

01Why has the model of "strict father, kind mother" become a tradition?

1. The traditional family model

The traditional model of the Chinese family is that the man is in charge of the family and the woman is in charge of the family, with the man working on the business and the woman taking care of the family at home. This division of labor naturally affects the way family members get along with each other: fathers have high expectations of their children, but because of their busy schedules, they seldom bother to study how to get along with their children, so their attitudes are usually more forceful; mothers, on the other hand, spend more time with their children, and tend to pay more attention to their children's moods and states.

2. The influence of "machismo"

Some fathers have more "baggage" and are too embarrassed to "pull down their faces" to get close to their children, and because of their personalities, they can't make intimate gestures or say too considerate words to their children. So they seem to be more serious, and when they educate their children, they often criticize them.

3, "strict father and mother" complementary

Parents need to care for their children, but can not lose authority, strict father and mother model fits this characteristic. Mothers are responsible for caring for and taking care of their children in every aspect; fathers are responsible for establishing a dignified image, having authority in educating their children, and letting them have a sense of awe.

02What are the effects of "strict parents" on children?

Positive effects of "strict father and mother" on children

1, while educating the child, not to let the child hurt

"Strict father" education of the child, the posture is majestic, the tone and words are harsh, seem a little unsympathetic. After being criticized and scolded, children are usually shocked and may think that their father doesn't like them. At this point, a mother's comforting and caring presence will make them feel much better and less hurt.

2. Children know how to appease others

In this family model, the father can show the children where they are wrong and make them realize the seriousness of the matter; while the mother's consolation will calm the children's emotions and make them feel soothed inside. These children can understand the bad situation and sadness of others and know how to soothe them.

Negative effects of "strict father and mother" on children

1. Children are prone to become "two-faced"

The model of "strict father and mother" may cause children to become two-faced and look at their parents' faces. In front of the father, they are good and obedient, trying to get by, after all, the other side of the "not to be messed with"; and for the mother's advice, these children will not take it seriously, and even complained about the mother, talk back to the mother, because the other side of the "good to talk".

2, the child is in a dilemma

In this mode of education, the father usually treats the child's requirements more strictly, while the mother will directly express her heartache and relax the requirements of the child. The two parents have different standards for their children, which can leave the child in a dilemma, not knowing who to listen to and in a quandary.

3, the child close to the mother, estranged from the father

Parents want their children to have their own feelings of admiration, it is best to be close to them. But the image of the "strict father" is too y rooted in people's minds, the child will treat his father with a sense of detachment, and even if he grows up knowing that the other side of the concern for their own, but also can not do intimate behavior, can not say close to the words. But for the mother, who has given him tenderness since he was a child, the child is less constrained in getting along with him and behaves very intimately.

03Modern family education mode began to change

By the influence of Western thought, parents have reflected on the traditional mode of education, and now there are many parents believe that "make friends with your child" is a better mode of education. In this model, couples can maintain the same requirements and standards for their children and respect them. As a result, the child will be close to both mother and father and respect them equally.

04How to "make friends with your child"?

1. Respect and listen to your child

Children may be young, but they have their own ideas and thoughts, even if they are whimsical and childish. When playing and communicating with your child, parents may want to ask your child what he or she thinks and let him or her know that they care about his or her opinions. At the same time, we should also give the child respect, not easily interrupt them to speak, even if the views are different, do not rush to deny the child.

2, give the child a certain freedom and choice

The traditional family model, parents are used to planning for their children, whether it is to start a family these big things, or to buy clothes and other trivial matters. In fact, in this aspect of parenting, parents should adjust their mindset, learn to trust their children, and properly let go of their hands to let them practice and experience. By giving your children freedom and choice, they will become more and more independent and assertive, and will appreciate their parents.

3, set the family rules

If you only know how to make friends with your children, it's easy to lose your authority, which can lead to your children still laughing and not taking it seriously when they make a mistake. In order to establish authority, parents need to make detailed rules and abide by them together with their children to create a good family culture. This way, parents will have a basis to criticize and educate their children after they make mistakes. The formulation of family rules should be rigorous and feasible; the observance of family rules should be strict.

4, learn to think differently

The way of thinking of children and adults have many different, want to draw closer to the relationship with the child, parents need to learn to think differently, from the child's point of view need to think about the problem. This will let the child know that the parent understands him or her and has thought through the situation and is not criticizing him or her indiscriminately.